
Where does sculling fit in?
I have absoutely no experience sculling, and would have no clue what to do in that situation...
SUGGESTION?
OPTION 1: To be safe among all this controversy, I suggest the swift removal of your port arm. Perhaps this way, no one will make fun of you as you race down the river.
As you can see, the procedure is harmless:

OPTION 2: If an amputation is unacceptable by your coach, since you will be rowing starboard in the next race, using two starboard oars seems to be a viable solution. Simply flip what used to be a port oar upside down, and you will be in complete compliance with the new order!